I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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