It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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