Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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