I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
