I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
