i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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