she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
