she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
