At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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