guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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