very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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