I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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