i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
