there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
