then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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