dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
