Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
