Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
