She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
