If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
one two three fourrrrnication!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
