guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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