Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
