i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I intend to get homeless drunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize