i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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