i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
