remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
