Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize