I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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