make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize