whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
