If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
where am i from again
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
