Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize