My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You need a sexual gate keeper
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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