we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize