i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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