i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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