But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
