Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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