It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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