Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish I could teleport
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
