i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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