Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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