Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
