Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We don't watch enough power rangers
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
