i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
