Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
