her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
