i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We left the knife in your bed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
