After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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