You're my little dorito
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
