you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize