69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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