Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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