Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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