My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
