is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize