if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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