i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Drake has all the answers
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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