As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
