TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
