bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
