Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
