i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize