Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
