the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
