I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize