apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
