Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
